When I'm 40 years old

July 28, 2014

I woke up this morning in a different apartment...a different bed...a different city. A city not so foreign to me but not so familiar either. When my dad asked me why I wanted to move here for such a short time instead of moving back home my response was, "When I'm 40 years old, I want to look back and say that I've lived in STL." In that moment, when I said that, it was pure honesty. It was a genuine response coming from my heart. I'm a dreamer and a traveler and if I don't have a list of places I've lived, experienced and seen I'll be left with no memories and a load of regret. I knew that my 40-year-old self, sitting with my kids, would want to mesmorize on the time I decided to move to stl last minute without a plan and show them that everything turns out to be okay....forseeing that my future will turn out okay. The past couple days have been an interesting battle in my head. I understand my dad's perspective. It's sensible, responsible, and smart. Then I think about my perspective. It's risky, courageous and adventurous. I can look at the next couple months here as a waste of time being unemployed or I can take this time to explore a city that I haven't before. If I stay true to my response, I want to look back and say that I did everything there is to do in stl. Sadly, I look back on the time I lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina and I feel like I should have done more. I don't want to make that mistake again. Now matter how insecure and unpredicatable this chapter in my life may be, I'm going to make the most of it, for the sake of my 40-year-old self. 

 

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